Of the Geek, by the Geek, for the Geek
It seems to be that time of the day, when the geek in me wants to tell you a joke.
Q: What do you call the Nintendo Wii in France?
A: A Nintendo Yes
Well, people laugh when they think of the Geek. Not because of the jokes. They never laugh at the jokes. They’re laughing at the time all it took to frighten him off the playground was a scowl that shouted "boo". They're laughing at the time he had motion sickness, from the running.
Nevertheless, all those moments of calamity were intentional. It was all an act, a sham, a bungling imposter the Geek selflessly devised so that his peers would look better! It’s what makes him such a valued member of society, his choice to be the butt of the joke, his unmatched ability to take one for the team.
Now, getting to an important misunderstanding that has confused all of us at some point of time, the difference between a geek and a nerd! Here’s some food for thought:
“What’s in a pair of thick rimmed glasses if I can consume knowledge! Books, knowledge, books knowledge. Yeeesss” so said Nerd. “Watching the Batman series each day until the Dawn of Justice movie would mean a net increase of power in each eye by two. This translates to an increase of rim thickness by 4 centimetres. WORTH IT”, so said Geek. Sigh, such problems.
A geek will not rest until he knows every aspect of something he loves. Every. He will ponder about issues that the creators could never envision, imagine scenarios so absurd, their only competition would be the solutions offered. All this, while maintaining their own ideas of logical consistency. Never tell them when they are wrong because you are bringing the kind of wrath God fears upon yourself.
Geeks account for 80% of the world’s economy (that drastic an impact, inspires awe) and 60% of all virgins. Okay, maybe that is not entirely true, but statistics rarely lie. Or so Geeks convince themselves as they employ this all enlightening tool, their golden statistics. Some interesting stats, a typical Geek’s clothes consist of 50% cotton, 20% polyester, 15% dried coffee, 10% stale chocolate, 5% body fluid from the last study break. Sweat, sweat from all the physical enterprise study breaks are meant for.
Did you know? The dining hall of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films was modelled after the Great Hall of Christ Church Cathedral in Oxford. Such facts, you can only ever learn from geeks. This is exactly what a geek brings to the table, the ability to delve into the deepest sources of information when it comes to something that has caught their fancy!
Often, conversations with Geeks start brightly in a spirit of blind optimism only to get bogged down in a senseless, spirit-sapping avalanche of words and clearly unnecessary and totally irrelevant perambulations involving, perhaps contemporary and chic social customs or the intricacies of the comic world or the blatant holes in the plotting that for many ruin the latest season of Game of Thrones, leading to a great number of viewers at some point developing an all-consuming feeling of hopelessness that may or may not result in them either never watching the show again. Again, we digress.
This is the canary in the coal mine, lycra fashion, fixation on the aimless, that’s the kind of future we are looking at as geeks take over the world and personally, it could not look any brighter.