Cute little monsters with fancy powers - digitally generated, of course - are amongst the latest infatuations to take the world by storm. Yes, you guessed it right; We’re talking of your childhood fantasies of catching and breeding the pocket monsters called as Pokémon
Pokémon Go, the free-world, location based augmented-reality game, is trending on Android and iOS devices across the globe. Everywhere, people are dreaming of “catching ‘em all” and cooking up fantasies of becoming THE Pokémon trainer on the planet.
While we can certainly understand the excitement this has whetted up in all corners of the globe - young people living their childhood fantasy like:
and old people raising grudges buried long ago under the sands of time:
and children watching on wondering what has suddenly transpired that made their elder brotzhers or sisters or young moms and dads so health-savvy and such walk freaks all of a sudden like:
we also understand the fact that catching digital Pokémon in a digital Pokéball doesn’t really give the senses that electrical jolt of joy and that rush of adrenaline which one envied Ash Ketchum for getting, almost on a daily basis.
So what does one do then?
^Seems the easiest alternative.
Not to worry, though, for we are considerate enough (read: jobless enough) to make you feel better about your Pokémon-less existence. Here, we bring you different kinds of people who resemble different Pokémon in their behaviours and characters and can be found in each and every college. So read on!
Category 1: The snorlaxes
Doubtless you’ve seen these roaming - or rather - LYING around the campus. These people live a life of comfort and ease. They are, doubtlessly, the laziest and dumbest people around. They live for the fineries and luxuries that life has to offer to them - that too, on a platter. It is unknown whether they even take the efforts to wipe their asses after taking a dump; That’s just how lazy they are. And they’d probably get confused over which end of a sword is the ‘pointy end’ (stick ‘em with the pointy end! :D); They’re that dumb.
They are, however, extremely important. They are the ones you’d automatically look towards for peacing out, and the ones who calm down and relax people wherever they go, simply with their lazy, slow and unhurried presence!
Category 2: The Jigglypuffs
Yes, that’s right. They won’t have ANY of your bullshit today. All they’ll have is your attention, thank you very much.
These are the attention-seekers of any college. Like it or not, you have to turn your head towards them, nod your approval - heartfelt or forced - and praise them to the high heavens to be rid of them. All this is well and good in the good early initial days of the college, when everybody is getting to know each other. However, it gets irritating after a point, and people start reacting the same way as Ash Ketchum to this adorable gob of pink - they fall asleep in the midst of your showmanship :p
Another feature of these people - they are social media addicts. Taking a shit? Post a selfie on Facebook with some horrid caption. Having maggi with their crush? Put a picture up on instagram with a dozen random hashtags.
There’s just one word that defines these kinds of people - wannabes.
Category 3: The Haunters
This one is dedicated to all the stalkers out there. All those ‘dedicated internet researchers’ who know the contents of the profiles of the girls better than the girls themselves. They are creepy as f.. Haunter.
Watch out, girls! These kinds of people are always behind your back, watching each and every move of yours :p
They’ll act all surprised when they meet you - or rather, bump into you - for the first time, but they’ll be thinking - “I’ve stalked your instagram..” :p
Category 4: The Meowths
These are probably the most destructive types of people around. Their danger lies in the dangerously large amount of gossip they seem to carry with them wherever they go, and in the infectious enthusiasm with which they narrate it all. They can bring a well-functioning, productive human being into a state of utter joblessness with their loose tongues and eagerness to ramble on about any crazy fetishes they harbour in their minds. If they ran like their mouths do amidst their friends, they’d probably have a ripped body!
The “berozgaari ka aalam” (Meaning: a feeling of utter joblessness) they carry with themselves has a knack of extending out to you, and grabbing you in its hold, rendering you jobless as well!
Stay away from these people during exam days! :P
Category 5: The Psyducks
The socially awkward ones. They never quite seem to gel in with their peers, and prefer to be left alone - plonked on their bed, headphones stuffed into their ears, watching a movie or playing a game. They see no need to socialize. They cloak themselves in utter randomness, and are, unfailingly, the butt of 9 jokes out of 10 told in the sphere of their existence - which extends merely to the mess, canteen, and the couple of rooms adjoining theirs. Their mantra of life seems to be - ‘I came. I saw. I made it awkward.’
These are the ones whose names you’ll actually start remembering after 1 year in college, after they’ve expended enough internet to shame even NASA, and downloaded enough movies to actually open up a DVD store.
However, they sometimes do pull off seemingly impossible stuff, and for that they must get some credit!
Category 6: The Team Rockets
Granted, these are not Pokémon. But you have to agree with me when I say that an episode of Pokémon doesn’t feel complete without them having rehearsed their famous slogan at least once. And hence, they gatecrash into our hall of fame - just as they’ve been gatecrashing pretty much everything since episode 1 of Pokémon :P
These are the ones who consider themselves super-cool by virtue of the company they keep. An inflated image of self, along with each other’s presence render them almost completely unbearable to anyone besides those of their own ilk. Yet, they are the ones who actually add spice to life in the campus, with their constant idiosyncrasies serving as great tea-time gossip.
Trust me, you wouldn’t want to miss these people in your campus!
These were some of the people we could relate with Pokémon on a character basis. There are probably more; but we wouldn’t list them down here, for this could go on forever! (Read: We aren’t that jobless, after all :P)
Hope you enjoyed this one. For now, I’d best ‘blast off with the speed of light’, before this goes on too long and I’m accused of being one of those meowths mentioned above :P